It’s 2024, and at this point, we should all know that a “bikini body” is just a body with a bikini on it. You don’t need to be a certain size or shape to be worthy of wearing a cute swimsuit, and you certainly shouldn’t be worried about your weight while enjoying time in a hot tub with your friends.
But according to one woman’s husband, it’s “embarrassing” that she’s not ashamed of her body. Below, you’ll find the full story that she recently shared on Reddit, as well as some of the comments from readers who called out her husband’s behavior.
This woman was excited to spend some time in a friend’s hot tub
Image credits: Fuu J / unsplash (not the actual photo)
But the evening quickly took a turn when her husband shamed her for her swimsuit choice
Image credits: Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SapreetSingh_
Nearly half of men say they would leave their partner if they gained weight
The body positivity movement has made great strides in recent years in terms of fighting fatphobia, but unfortunately, we’ve still got a long way to go before it’s eradicated. One 2019 survey found that a quarter of physicians say they’re not comfortable being friends with people in larger bodies, and 18% even admitted that they feel disgusted when treating patients with high BMIs.
And of course, these biases show up in romantic relationships as well. According to HuffPost, nearly 50% of men say they would leave their partner if they gained weight, while only 20% of women said the same. There’s also a bit of a double standard when it comes to weight in marriages, as one study found that both husbands and wives prefer when the wife has a lower BMI than her husband.
Regardless of whether or not they’re in a relationship, many women struggle with body image issues, as Harmony Hit reports that 79% deal with negative body image, and 43% admit that they dread swimsuit season. 57% of women say that they constantly compare their body to others during the summer, and 77% admit that they feel more self conscious during the summer time than the rest of the year.
Image credits: John Diez / pexels (not the actual photo)
Most people put on “relationship weight” when coupled up
As ridiculous as it is to judge anyone for gaining weight ever, it’s even more silly to do so when they’re in a happy relationship. We’ve all heard of “relationship weight,” those extra few pounds we tend to pack on when we’re comfortable and satisfied with our partner, and apparently, it’s a real thing.
US News reports that 79% of people who are in relationships have put on a little extra “love weight.” On average, people gain 36 pounds when in happy relationships, and 17 of those pounds usually come within the first year of the relationship. Men are even more likely than women to start carrying relationship weight, as 69% of them get heavier, compared to only 45% of women.
And as far as where this weight comes from, the number one reason couples cite is eating out more often. Becoming less active is another common reason, as it’s easier to sit around watching Netflix with your partner than to go to the gym in the evening. And some cite starting a family as another reason for weight gain, as they have less time to prepare healthy meals and workout. And of course, some simply feel comfortable in their relationships, meaning there’s less need to maintain their physique.
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Body-shaming your spouse or partner is never appropriate
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with gaining a few pounds when you’re in love, but there is a problem with shaming your partner for their body and the changes it has undergone. We should choose to be in relationships with people that we love for who they are, not simply how they look. According to Well and Good, fat shaming is never appropriate in relationships, and these harmful remarks can even escalate to abuse.
“Fat-shaming can be considered a form of emotional abuse particularly, when it involves verbal attacks, insults, ridicule, rejection, gaslighting, and other non-physical behaviors meant to control, isolate, or frighten your partner,” Akua K. Boateng, PhD, a licensed psychotherapist based in Philadelphia, told Well and Good.
It’s important to tell your partner as soon as they make a harmful comment about your body that you didn’t appreciate it. Perhaps it was a one time mistake, and it’ll never happen again. If it does, however, remind them how inappropriate and hurtful the remark was. And if it happens a third time, Well and Good recommends evaluating if this relationship is worth it to be in at all. As many of the commenters told this woman on Reddit, your partner should never be making you feel ashamed of yourself or your body.
Image credits: Timur Weber / pexels (not the actual photo)
