The bride thought there would be more money

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Dear Amy: When our daughters were born we opened an account for each of them. We told them it was their college account. Money gifts from relatives went into this account.

When college approached, we informed them: “Here is your college account. If you have money left in it after college graduation, it’s yours. If you have college debt, it’s yours. It’s up to you.”

Daughter No. 1 spent most of it on college. Great! Daughter No. 2 decided to go to a great public university, graduated with a double BS, and used the excess as a down payment on her first house. So far, so good.

Then No. 2 said, “Hey, it’s wedding time, what’s my budget?”

My wife and I looked at each other and said, “Oh crap” (or something similar).

We realized — and I now preach to any new parent who will listen — that it should be called a college-and-wedding fund.

Help spread the word.

Daddy Nomorebucks

Dear Daddy: Great idea, followed by great advice! You don’t say how you resolved this, but I have a feeling that you handled it well.

Dear Amy: I am conflicted about gift-giving this holiday season.

I have traditionally bought gifts for my family (five adults and five children), my close friends and their children (they all buy me nice gifts too!).

I used to enjoy this, but now it just seems dauntingly expensive.

I am 62 and still working, but this year I have no real disposable income.

I mentioned to my mother that I kind of wanted to opt out of the gift-giving this year due to finances, and she said, “Why don’t you then? Just tell everyone in the family that you don’t want to exchange gifts this year.”

The thing is, I am embarrassed to do that. It is hard for me to imagine being with my family on Christmas morning with everyone else giving gifts. I feel like it would be awkward or I will end up just feeling very depressed.

I can’t skip the event because I take my parents (they are 89 and 90) and besides, I love my family and want to be with them.

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