“Lower your standards and expectations and you will never be disappointed!” – Hannah Hart, My Drunk Kitchen.
While this does effectively resolve the problem of double standards (any standards, actually), in the real world, alas, we can’t help but laugh at it and then, with that little bit of comedic positivity, move on to tackling the issue at hand by bringing it to light in a Reddit thread.
Incidentally, that happened with folks listing all the double standards that they just can’t stomach. Whether on a personal level, or a structural, cultural, societal or economic one.
I said it last time I saw this and I’ll say it until the point gets across to whoever needs it:
If you don’t like abortion, ignore it like you do the kids in the foster system.
How a man can get a vasectomy without any questions asked, but if a woman wants to get her tubes tied, then it’s all hands on deck to gaslight her into changing her mind.
Double standards are commonly viewed as a bad thing. No surprise there—nobody likes to be treated differently than anyone else unless it has a positive effect on them. But even then someone other than the beneficiary is put at a disadvantage and that is also not good. So, the idea would be to be treated equally regardless of circumstance.
Now, the pursuit of equality is a very commendable thing. However, soon you are faced with another problem, and that is how far will you take it? Pushing it to an extreme is not an option, so where do you draw the line?
This is where you might start to realize that there isn’t really any ideal place to be in terms of being treated equally as there are too many variables to consider without going overboard. It has to be realistically reasonable, right?
And so once that black and white type of thinking subsides, folks might humor the idea that maybe double standards aren’t some evil social construct that benefits those better off? Because that’s the core problem of double standards—that they put someone at a disadvantage or someone else has the potential to benefit from it?
On multiple occasions have seen a woman beat up on a man and nobody intervenes. The moment he pushes back to defend himself then you get all these white knights intervening. Disgusting double standard- nobody should hit anyone and if you hit someone you shouldnt expect to be immune from retaliation because of the genitals you have.
Bunch of people dress in their fav football teams colours and watch a match…. acceptable. Bunch of people dress up as their fav characters and attend a comic con… bunch of wierdos.
‘Human rights violations committed by my civilization were due to the circumstances and norms of the time, whereas those committed by the rival civilization were due to its inherent evilness and inferiority.’
If benefit is at the heart of it, consider utilitarianism. Utilitarianism is an ethical theory that focuses on the outcomes to determine if something is right or wrong. By proxy, that which brings the most benefit to the most people is the best thing to do. This is in part the reason why the lesser of two evils idea is sometimes the go-to tactic for some people.
The mentality towards victims of SA depending on their gender. You see a news story about a 15 year old male student and their female teacher, and half the comments are things like “lucky kid,” “wish that were me,” “why would he tell??” about a CHILD being abused by a person in power that they’re supposed to be able to trust. It’s disgusting and when the genders are reversed the mentality is completely different.
It’s OK for employers to see employees as replaceable but it’s not OK for employees to be constantly passively job hunting cause that means they have one foot out the door.
“Be the bigger person”
Always and without fail only **ever** applies to the person being wronged beyond all belief.
So, with that in mind, would a double standard be a bad thing if it brings more good than the next best option, which would be to have a single standard?
An example of this can be seen in college admissions practices. Educational institutions might give preference to people from underrepresented backgrounds to promote diversity.
Miley Cyrus licks a hammer nude: art, powerful, brave.
I lick a hammer naked: drunk, scarring, banned from the local Ace hardware.
Many members of the LGBTQ community preaching openness and acceptance yet are incredibly biased towards one another within their own community.
I’ve experienced so much of this. It’s sickening. That’s why I try to avoid LGBTQ+ spaces now, even though I’m bisexual. I just don’t feel safe there.
When people have an extensive list of things a potential partner must be and must provide, but they give nothing.
Your ideal partner won’t be picking you if you have nothing to give.
Yes, there is definitely a double standard there that puts one student at an advantage over another all because of who they are. However, from the utilitarian standpoint, ultimately, it aims to achieve a more equitable outcome through example, increasing overall societal and cultural health by providing the opportunities to those who might have been historically marginalized.
Another double standard that you might consider not a bad idea is the idea of the different standards applicable to adults and children in terms of responsibility.
After all, the maturity and understanding of the world that adults possess mean that they are expected to take on more responsibility and face full consequences for their actions. Children, on the other hand, get more lenient treatment and are provided guidance in the same situations.
Parents can send the most vitriolic, acidic emails to me and my fellow teachers but we are expected to respond both realistically *and* respectfully.
In turn, such a double standard allows for appropriate support and paces expectations based on the children’s aptitude and understanding, providing support along the way. It’s what essentially allows to foster the right kind of environment for kids to effectively learn the ropes of life, building character and teaching them things like accountability.
I don’t quite know how to word this type of double standard, but I can give an example. We all know how Janet Jackson had a “costume malfunction”. A very polite way of saying Justin Timberlake accidentally ripped her top off exposing her breast. Her career took a nose dive, even though at worst many MANY were at fault. She was mocked and berated, and her career took a nose dive. Justin Timberlake suffered very little repercussions from this. To be clear, I don’t think anyone should have been ostracized. But definitely not just Janet.
How if someone starts s**t with you, you’re going to be to one yapped at for standing up for yourself, not the person who started things.
School, work, elsewhere. This always happens.
I’ve been the victim of it, but I’m male. The reaction of “Eh, so what? get back to work.” really pissed me off. If I’d grabbed some woman’s butt, or made comments about how “good her a*s looked in those pants” in the workplace, I’d be bounced in a heartbeat.
Heck, even the idea of hypocrisy could be justified in pretty much the same utilitarian way. For example, a doctor might consider telling a patient that they ought to lose some weight for their health, while being overweight themselves. The patient might not take the doc’s words seriously, but the doc’s ultimate goal is for the patient to be healthy, and their own bodily state has nothing to do with it.
The whole men can have “a fear of commitment” but if a woman behaves the exact same way she’s either a “s**t” or a “tease.” Women can have a fear of intimacy and commitment too!
Men can sleep around, and they are praised. Women do it. They are called 304s and shamed. When women cry and express their feelings, it’s wonderful and healthy. When men do it, they need to “quit being so sensitive and be a man.” Like men have feelings/emotions. Let them express those feelings before it comes out as anger or they k¡ll themselves. When a woman gets angry, it is because she is emotional or irrational. If a man gets angry, it is because he knows what he wants and gets it. Women who want to snuggle are affectionate. Men who want to snuggle are needy. Men can easily get a vasectomy but if a woman wants to get her tubes tied she has to jump through hoops. The pink tax. Men who are victims of rape, sexual harassment, and/or assault are less likely to be taken seriously. The legal system, in general, gives women fewer harsh sentences than men who committed the same crime.
How it’s okay for parents to take time off when their kids are sick but frowned upon for anyone else to take time off when they themselves are sick. Especially if it’s their mental health that’s the problem.
So, what are your thoughts on double standards? Got some notable examples that need to not be a thing? Share your thoughts in the comment section below!
Afterwards, you can go check out another one of our articles on double standards people are tired of.
I’m in the US and I’m a white guy. I have a friend who immigrated here from China. She is rich and lives on a beachfront property in California. She claims to be extremely oppressed over her race while living a better life than anyone I’ve ever met.
She calls everyone racist while also making the most racist statements I’ve ever heard about other minority groups. She recently stopped talking to me because I’m half Jewish and she’s decided that Jews are Nazis because of the conflict in the middle east.
I’m a progressive and she always called me racist and conservative. When I met her boyfriend, he said “I heard about you, you’re the MAGA guy, right?”.
Where did she get this impression from? Because I said I wouldn’t want to date an activist. She said she hopes my house gets burned down by BLM rioters so I know what it feels like to be oppressed.
Meanwhile, when Covid hit and there were racial tensions between Black and Asian people in San Francisco, she said some of the most racist things I’ve ever heard anyone say.
She represents a certain subgroup of this leftist movement who will consider you their enemy if you don’t agree with 100% of their beliefs 100% of the time.
That’s the biggest double standard I’ve seen. And they’re not too hard to find in big progressive cities.
My biggest pet peeve with people is when they try to bully you/be disrespectful and when you match the energy you get called an a*****e.
My ex would blow through my money, but when his mom would send him b-day or Christmas money, that was “his” money.
He was unemployed for years. The second he got a job, that was his money.
I hate double standards when it comes to gender roles and expectations.
I live in a predominantly Mormon community and I’m male and my dad is building the house and people always ask me if I’ve been helping my dad, but never to my sister and she helps out more and when she says that, they’re like “oh ok”. I always feel intimidated because they probably think it’s a man’s job to do that so they wanna make sure I’m doing manly duties
I can’t stand it when people judge others for actions that they themselves commit, without criticism.
The eldest child can’t get away with anything, but the younger brothers and sisters can come and go as they please.
Men expected to always pay on dates and outings with a potential mate. Huge double standard. I like to “take turns” and keep it 50/50.
Several of my gfs over the years have exhibited this trait and it drives me bonkers. They preach that relationships are all about “communication” … but when they’re mad they refuse to say what they’re mad about!! WTF?!?!?!?!
As a woman, you are expected to look youthful in regular life. But at work, if you are youthful looking, you are taken less seriously.
Women expecting to be showered in compliments constantly while they never give any to the men they are with. It is a really s***ty double standard, especially when most men really appreciate compliments just as much as women do.
It’s legal for Christians to discriminate against queer people but illegal for queer people to discriminate against Christians.
It’s rude when a man ask a woman what she brings to the table but it’s not rude if she does it.
Women who vigorously enforce traditional gender roles for men while bucking traditional gender roles for women.
Older female hitting on younger male is acceptable. Older male hitting on younger female is creepy.
Female rappers only become especially celebrated if they really stand out. They have to a *niche*. They have to be cute. Male rappers, it’s about their rapping and nothing else. Their niche is considered a bonus.
How dads can’t be around their own kids alone, enjoying quality time without being seen as a creep, potential predator and giving mommy her day off While a mom can do the same thing but it’ll be seen as caring and nurturing.
People bragging about being tough for drinking whiskey but dissing mixed drinks as “girly” and weak.
My dudes, those “girly” drinks have like 3 shots of 80-proof alcohol each to your 1 shot of 80-proof whiskey. And those folks downed their drinks in less than half the time and are already on their second round.
Your liver needs to step up its game.
Dudes making the first move. if shes not into you they think you are some creep. Not to mention girls in every major city have a FB group where they talk about guys who are in the dating scene. Imagine if guys had an FB group talking about girls they are dating and if they are worth it. girls would have a meltdown.
Ok to height shame a man, but it’s bloody hell to weight shame a woman.
Women being very quick to define what a real man is or remove someone’s claim to it. But acting impossibly offended if a man deign to suggest that this or that action is unbecoming of a woman.