No topic is safe at family gatherings; panelists offer advice at Table Talk | News

Pruett gave an apt example of what could have been an innocent topic turned heated.

She once told her husband, Jon, to stick to sports and films at a family gathering. But after discussion turned to the topic of the animated movie “Moana,” she said, it jumped to contentious opinions about Disney films, including family members’ views that the company’s more recent films generate hatred of men.

Pruett laughed about it, as did other panelists including Laura Luiz, a BC reference librarian who specializes in misinformation. Joining them were 19-year BC philosophy professor Reggie Williams, Kern County journalist Emma Gallegos and BC student Anthony Vasquez, editor-in-chief of the college’s newspaper, the Renegade Rip. BC librarian Ariel Dyer served as moderator.

Talk to family members instead of talking at them, Pruett suggested, to avoid heated discussions at gatherings. She has two young daughters and said she appreciates how Disney princesses don’t depend on men as much as the princesses did from her time, such as Belle in “Beauty and the Beast” and Ariel in “The Little Mermaid.”

“I said my piece,” she said. “I educated my audience. And then we kind of agreed to disagree.”

Williams said discussing whiskey can be a safe topic, when it’s about the different types. And, if that doesn’t work, you should drink it, he quipped.

The panelists said to be prepared when sharing information at family gatherings, especially when so many people nowadays use their phones to fact-check conversation points.

To prevent heated discussions or to get past certain family members’ preconceived opinions, Williams advised finding what you respect most about the family member involved in the conversation.

That’s something he practices in everyday life.

“In my humble opinion, that’s one of the big keys to maintaining long-term relationships,” Williams said. “Life is going to put us in different situations together. If we’re around each other enough, life is going to stress our connection at some point. … The depth of the connection is our ability to work through those situations and that involves finding something we agree on.”

Williams said, and other panelists agreed, to avoid debating when conversing with family members. Don’t try to win when talking to them. Present information in a helpful way and offer them your source of information.

Luiz said the first idea you want to express is usually not the best.

Jocelynn Landon, a Stockdale High graduate and BC student studying journalism, said she enjoyed that the Table Talk panelists were diverse and they offered needed advice.

“The topic is really important,” she said. “It’s not something that’s normally talked about. It’s really good that there are faculty and others here trying to help us out and give us the tools that we need to have important conversations.”