ILLUSTRATION BY RUTH MACAPAGAL
As a child, I was soft-spoken, small for my age and very easily brought to tears—an ideal target for bullies.
A particularly memorable tormenter was one of my carpool mates—she was pretty, athletic, confident and popular—and because she told them so, nobody ever wanted to play with or talk to me when she was around.
My favorite day of the week was when she had to stay in school longer for an after-school activity, which meant that for one day, my carpool mates would not be afraid to include me in their games and conversations.
Years later, I received a handwritten letter from her telling me that she had migrated with her family to Europe, where she experienced bullying from classmates who were not used to having kids that did not look like them in the same school. She went on to apologize for her past behavior, saying that being a victim of the same had made her realize the error of her ways.
Unfortunately, bullying is not something that ends when we graduate from school. Today, bullies thrive in workplaces without experiencing the same enlightenment that my erstwhile childhood aggressor eventually did.
READ: Philippines tops 70 countries in bullying, PISA data reveals – Gatchalian
Globally, one in five people say they have experienced workplace antagonism, with most common toxic behaviors reported being manipulation (72 percent) and microaggressions or everyday put-downs (67 percent).
Research by Glassdoor also reveals that women are more likely to be bullied than men, as female employees are less prone to speak up for themselves.
The Workplace Bullying Institute defines bullying as “repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons by one or more perpetrators that takes one or more of the following forms: verbal abuse, offensive conduct/behavior, which is threatening, humiliating, or intimidating; or work interference—sabotage—which prevents work from getting done.”
Professional burnout
It is a major cause of professional burnout, with women bearing the brunt of the phenomenon in both the public and private spheres. Even more alarmingly, reports indicate that workplace aggression against women is increasingly happening at the hands of women themselves.
Unequal access to opportunities in the workforce has resulted in women competing with each other for limited space to be noticed, advance and succeed in the workplace.
While I have had the privilege to be mentored by some fierce and exacting but exceptional female leaders, some women have to suffer from supervisors and colleagues who put them down in an effort to lift themselves up.
Julia Abad —CONTRIBUTED PHOTO
Power imbalance
The US Department of Health and Human Services notes that bullying is “unwanted, aggressive behavior” that involves a power imbalance, whether real or perceived, against someone else.
Some notable consequences of bullying are absenteeism, resignation and job dissatisfaction, making it a major concern for leaders, managers and employees.
According to the 2021 research from the Workplace Bullying Institute: About 67 percent of bullies are male and about 33 percent are female, but both male and female bullies are more likely to target women. Sixty-five percent of bullying comes from bosses or supervisors, 21 percent from coworkers, and the remaining 14 percent occurs when people at lower employment levels bully their supervisors or others above them.
READ: Philippines tops 70 countries in bullying, PISA data reveals – Gatchalian
Workers have a 67-percent chance of losing their job when targeted for bullying, with remote workers being bullied at a higher rate.
Workplace bullies are loathe to share the spotlight, and will insidiously bring down high performers in an effort to distract from their own shortcomings and remain on top. They engage in relational aggression, an indirect but harmful form of social bullying.
Unlike physical harm, those who engage in relationship aggression want to make a person look bad to others, to bring them down or take away what the other person has. It means to exclude victims, and often causes self-preserving coworkers to rally around the perpetrator rather than challenge her, to ensure that they do not become the next victim.
Speak up and push back: Support open communication across the organization
Bullies thrive in environments where speaking out is not the norm. Creating an environment that does not tolerate bullying is one that emphasizes the importance of open and honest communication, and provides opportunities for all employees to share their thoughts without fear of reprisal.
Break down cliques: Problem-solve and celebrate successes as a team
Unfortunately, “Mean Girls” do exist in real life, and gain strength from the factions that they create to intentionally exclude others. Discussing failures, problem-solving and celebrating successes collectively reinforces the inclusive culture of an organization, creating little opportunity for the formation of toxic, unproductive cliques.
Do not engage at their level: Reflect the values you want to see
Being confronted with a toxic workplace bully often opens up the temptation to fight fire with fire. However, nothing can be more counterproductive than engaging in the kind of behavior that you want to eliminate from your organization.
Instead of stooping down to the level of your office bully, work with colleagues to ensure that your team actively and openly reflects the values you want to see in your professional environment.
READ: Shifting gender norms in the workplace
As we look for ways to #inspireinclusion in the workplace, ensuring that all employees feel valued and respected should be foremost in our mind. Bullies are not only emotionally exhausting; they also only serve to drain the resources of an organization.
In a world that increasingly pits women against one another, we women should never hesitate to lift up other women for fear that their light will somehow dim ours; rather, we should look at their achievements as amplifying and shining a brighter light on our own. —Contributed
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Julia Abad is executive director at the Philippine Business Coalition for Women Empowerment, which works with employers to create diverse, equitable and inclusive workplaces that place value on the contributions of every employee.
