Humorous ‘Return Of The Jedi’ Fan Theories From 1983

In the early 1980s, as the world was waiting in breathless anticipation for Return of the Jedi, the third film in the Star Wars trilogy, several questions danced in the heads of fans and some of them — though understandable — are quite humorous in retrospect.

If you haven’t seen the original Star Wars trilogy, then consider this a spoiler alert. Otherwise, feel free to proceed further. We don’t need to see your identification.

The Empire Strikes Back ended with quite the reveal, as supervillain Darth Vader told Luke Skywalker that he is his father. It was also a tremendous movie, which only made people more anxious for the conclusive film. At the time, Return of the Jedi was actually still called Revenge of the Jedi, and was written about frequently a year before it was released in theaters in the summer of 1983, partly because it started filming in 1982, and later that year entered post-production.

With a lot of secrets revealed weeks before the film’s release, one would have to go back to the months leading up to it, and also to articles written in 1982 about the film. So, I took to the task of going through more newspapers online than anyone would recommend. Most of the theories that critics wrote about, and that fans wrote in about, and that even some fans were interviewed for, were all pure speculation, and a lot of which will now cause any fan of the Force to chuckle.

So, feel free to laugh it up, fuzzball, as I proudly give you the 5 funniest fan theories for Return of the Jedi.

Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia will end up together and have children

Questions from The Sun (Biloxi, Mississippi)

No one can blame anyone for thinking this at the time, but it’s quite hilarious nonetheless. Why would anyone guess that Luke and Leia were actually siblings? Especially considering their kiss in Empire, which makes one wonder why the characters themselves didn’t have more of a creeped out reaction upon such a realization in Jedi.

Some fans accurately suggested that Han Solo would end up with Leia, as one of the most written about questions heading into the film was “Who will Princess Leia end up with?”

One sarcastic fan had a ball, suggesting that Han will end up with Leia, but be cursed for life because he married a princess. All of this speculation makes one realize that most people figured Solo survives being frozen in carbonite, because Harrison Ford returned to the role.

Boba Fett will play major yet mysterious role

A fan interviewed by the Orlando Sentinel

This theory would’ve been accurate, because George Lucas has since revealed that Fett was supposed to be the main villain of the film. Fans were excited to see what this villain would do, considering they got just a taste of him in the previous movie.

However, Lucas changed his mind drastically, and turned Fett into a punchline burp for the Sarlacc pit.

Disney has revived the character, to fans’ excitement, but it was basically to be a mob boss, making some of those fans suggest he was better of dead. Thus, we still haven’t received the story that the character deserves — instead, we only got a really cool iced tea drink named after him. (Boba Tea, anyone?)

Darth Vader was lying to Luke when he told him he is his father

A movie usher interviewed by Belleville News-Democrat (Belleville, Illinois)

A movie usher who said he watched Empire 63 times concluded that Vader was lying to Luke about being his father, and that it was a way to get Luke on Vader’s side. He wasn’t alone. A significant number of people, including James Earl Jones who voiced Darth Vader, literally did not believe that Vader was telling the truth. It was such an iconic plot twist that it rattled fans.

It’s eye-opening to see how many people seem to have concluded the same thing, perhaps not wanting it to be true.

Anakin Skywalker is Luke Skywalker’s son

The Anakin theory as seen in multiple newspapers

Although we know now that Anakin Skywalker is the real name of Luke’s father, thus Darth Vader’s real name, no one had heard the name before Return of the Jedi. Some people don’t realize that a mention of Anakin was added to Empire during the re-released DVD versions, some two decades later.

So, when the cast list was released, it became a big deal to see that an actor named Sebastian Shaw was playing a character named Anakin Skywalker. The funniest thing about this, other than the fact that Shaw plays him for just one scene when Darth Vader has his helmet taken off, is that people seemed to speculate every possibility except for Anakin being Vader. The most common theory was that Anakin was Luke’s son. There were some people who speculated that he was an uncle, but some did actually believe Anakin was Luke’s father — just not that he was also Vader.

Obi-Wan Kenobi is not really dead

Questions from The Modesto Bee

This one is posed more as a question in a few newspapers. It seems there was a thought that he was still alive, courtesy of a Jedi ability, and that somehow this would be revealed in Return of the Jedi. Of course, nothing like that is ever addressed, because as many others had pointed out, Kenobi is clearly a ghost.

However, I can’t help but wonder if the theory was more motivated by people hoping that Kenobi would re-engage with Vader. It would’ve been great for Obi-Wan to pop up during the Vader-Luke lightsaber duel and scare the Sith out of Darth. The look on Vader’s mask would’ve been priceless.

There are many other fan theories worth mentioning, such as ones many surrounding Han Solo’s fate. A lot of people believed he was the “other” hope that Yoda spoke of and thus he had Jedi powers. Luke’s fate was also widely written about, obviously, with two popular theories simply being that he turns to the dark side and another that he dies at the end.

I prefer to go back to that sarcastic guy who theorized that C-3PO would be destroyed and sold for scraps.

 

Reference

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