152 Funniest ‘What Do You Call?’ Jokes

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It has been scientifically proven (not really) that the sillier the joke, the funnier it is (sometimes). But you know what’s even better than the most ridiculous joke ever? A joke that you expect nothing out of but get a full-blown laugh attack nevertheless. And while there are a couple of such seemingly predictable joke categories, probably no other beats the joy you get from such an oldie as the What Do You Call joke. So, since there’s nothing we enjoy more than amusing you, we present our collection of only the best What Do You Call jokes ever that are sure to deliver some fun plot twists, unexpected endings, and glorious puns to you!

And you know what, although it isn’t scientifically proven, we are pretty sure that it is the random stuff that you get most of the kicks out of. Say you’re walking down the street and suddenly see that you are doing so in mismatched shoes. Cue the laughter. Or imagine that you are in the office, peacefully making a cup of coffee while half asleep. Of course, you mess with the coffee machine, and now there’s a fountain of milk spraying waywardly right on your shirt. Cue the giggles. And, of course, there’s the instance of your dog minding his own business, loudly passing gas, and getting scared of his own farts. Uproarious joy! Same with these What Do You Call jokes – you might know what to expect from them, but the ending is so off-beat and kooky that your belly is now full of laughs.

Alrighty, then, let’s put our theory to its ultimate test, and let’s see if these What Do You Call jokes are as funny as we thought they were. How shall we do it? Well, our test starts with you scrolling down below, right where these silly jokes start. Then, we wait until you are finished reading them and vote for the ones that you enjoyed the most. Lastly, we’d like you to tell us what you thought about these clever jokes in the comments, and that’s how we’ll know if they are as amusing as we’d hoped! 

What do you call a sad coffee?

Depresso.

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What do you call a dog magician?

A labracadabrador.

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What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?

A URL-ologist.

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What do you call milk that gets anything it wants?

Spoiled milk.

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What do you call a dinosaur fart?

A blast from the past.

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What do you call the security guards outside the Samsung factory?

The guardians of the galaxy.

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What do you call a key that opens the door on Thanksgiving?

A turkey.

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What do you call a farm that grows bad jokes?

Corny.

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What do you call a priest that becomes an attorney?

Father-in-Law.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh.

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What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?

A receding hare line!

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What do you call an owl that’s a magician?

Who-dini.

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What do you call a painting of a cat?

A paw-trait.

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What do you call a Spanish man who has lost his car?

Carlos.

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What do you call an unlucky sheep with no head and no legs?

A cloud.

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What do you call an American bee?

USB.

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What do you call a French gentleman who is wearing flip-flops?

Philippe Philoppe.

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What do you call the month that soldiers hate most?

March.

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What do you call a South American woman who is always in a hurry?

An Urgent Tina.

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What do you call blackbirds that stick together?

Vel-crows.

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What do you call a tiny mother?

A minimum!

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

A stick.

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What do you call a bagel that can fly?

A plain bagel.

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What do you call a person with a briefcase in a tree?

Branch manager.

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What do you call someone who cleans the bottom of the ocean?

A mer-maid.

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What do you call something that goes up when the rain comes down?

An umbrella.

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What do you call a cow in an earthquake?

A milkshake.

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What do you call a cheese that doesn’t belong to you?

Nacho cheese!

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What do you call a cute door?

Adorable.

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What do you call the lights on Noah’s Ark?

Flood lights.

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What do you call a snobby criminal walking down the steps?

A condescending con descending!

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What do you call a bear in the rain?

A drizzly bear.

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What do you call it when one cow spies on another?

A steak out!

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What do you call a pig who is also a thief?

A hamburglar.

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What do you call a pig who was lucky to have won the grand lottery?

Filthy rich.

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What do you call two celebrities fighting?

Star Wars.

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What do you call an old snowman?

Water.

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What do you call a potato who you see every day?

A commentator.

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What do you call boys who love mathematics?

Algebros.

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What do you call a bad clown who is in jail?

A silicon.

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What do you call a group of girls named Jennifer swimming?

Hydro-jen.

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What do you call a sick juggler?

Someone who can’t stop throwing up.

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What do you call the longest word in the dictionary?

Smiles, because there is a mile between each “s.”

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What do you call the process a cucumber goes through to become a pickle?

A jarring experience.

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What do you call the doctor who graduates at the bottom of the class?

Doctor.

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

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What do you call something that runs but never gets anywhere?

A refrigerator.

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What do you call a policeman in bed?

An undercover cop.

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What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

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What do you call a factory that manufactures products that are just ok?

A satisfactory.

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What do you call a Christmas tree that knows karate?

Spruce Lee.

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What do you call a baby polar bear?

An ice cub.

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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A moosician.

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What do you call shorts that clouds wear?

Thunderwear.

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What do you call something you can serve, but never eat?

A volleyball.

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What do you call fruit playing the guitar?

A jam session.

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What do you call a pencil that is broken?

Pointless.

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What do you call two birds in love?

Tweethearts!

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What do you call a dancing lamb?

A baaaaaa-llerina!

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What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts?

A hobby horse.

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What do you call a pile of cats?

Meowtain.

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What do you call a rabbit that is really cool?

A hip hopper.

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What do you call a bee that’s having a bad hair day?

A frisbee.

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What do you call a bear that never wants to grow up?

Peter Panda!

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

An investigator.

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What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A mean-o-acid!

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What do you call a computer that sings?

A-Dell!

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto!

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What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show?

A cat-has-trophy!

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What do you call a smelly Santa?

Farter Christmas!

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A pumpkin!

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What do you call a sleeping wolf?

An unawarewolf!

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What do you call a jedi with one arm?

Hand Solo!

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What do you call an argument between two electric companies?

A power struggle!

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What do you call a pig who is sleeping?

A pig-in-a-blanket.

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What do you call an educated bear who has got a nice degree?

A koalified bear.

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What do you call a dinosaur that is not interesting?

A dinobore.

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What do you call a paleontologist who is always sleepy?

Lazy Bones.

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What do you call a female cow?

A dairy queen.

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What do you call a strange alien with three eyes?

An aliiien.

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What do you call an untidy hippo?

Hippopota-mess.

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What do you call x-rays taken by a dentist?

Tooth pics.

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What do you call a fly stuck in butter?

Butterfly.

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What do you call an annoying reindeer who is obnoxious?

Rude-olph.

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What do you call it when you enter a coffee shop and feel like you have been there before?

Déjà Brew.

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What do you call it when a baby does not believe in Santa?

A rebel without a claus.

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What do you call a man with no ears?

Anything you want.

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What do you call a Russian tree?

Dimitree.

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What do you call an old dog?

Grandpaw!

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What do you call something that’s easy to get into, but hard to get out of?

Trouble.

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

Silence.

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What do you call someone that saw an iPhone being stolen?

An iWitness.

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What do you call the daughter of a hamburger?

Patty.

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What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

A dinosnore.

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What do you call a piece of sad cheese?

Blue cheese.

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What do you call an M&M that went to college?

A smarty.

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What do you call a witch that lives at the beach?

A sand witch.

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What do you call someone who draws funny pictures of cars?

A car-toonist.

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What do you call a magician on a plane?

A flying sorcerer.

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What do you call the shoes that all spies wear?

Sneakers.

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What do you call a skeleton who went out in freezing temperatures?

A numb skull.

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What do you call a dollar frozen in a block of ice?

Cold hard cash.

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What do you call a dead pine tree?

A nevergreen.

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What do you call two octopuses that look exactly the same?

Itenticle.

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What do you call a bear with no socks?

Barefoot.

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What do you call a snail aboard a ship?

A snailor.

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What do you call a deer that only costs a dollar?

A buck.

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What do you call a dog that’s freezing?

A chili dog.

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What do you call an illegally parked frog?

Toad!

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What do you call a dinosaur with a big vocabulary?

A thesaurus.

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What do you call twin dinosaurs?

A pair-odactyls!

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What do you call a monkey that loves Doritos?

A chipmonk!

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What do you call a mac ‘n’ cheese that gets all up in your face?

Too close for comfort food!

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What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef!

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What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?

An irrelephant!

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What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear!

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What do you call an avocado that’s been blessed by the pope?

Holy guacamole!

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What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time!

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What do you call something that is mostly on the ground, but is never dirty?

A shadow.

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What do you place where pigs and dinosaurs live together?

Jurassic Pork.

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What do you call a bagel who works out?

A pretzel.

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What do you call an ant who will stay forever?

Permanant.

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What do you call it when people are laughing over cups of coffee?

Brewhaha.

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What do you call someone who shaves 10 times a day?

A barber.

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What do you call two guys from Mexico playing basketball?

Juan on Juan.

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What do you call a paddle sale at the marina?

An oar deal.

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What do you call leftover salad?

The last romaines.

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What do you call an Eskimo on the rocks?

A long way from home.

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer.

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What do you call a droid that takes the longer route?

R2 detour.

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What do you call an ant who fights crime?

A vigilante.

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What do you call people who take care of chickens?

Chicken tenders.

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What do you call a wizard on a dating app?

Bumbledor.

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What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?

A sherbet.

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What do you call someone who never passes gas in public?

A private tutor.

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What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot?

A cellfie.

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What do you call a funny mountain?

Hill-arious.

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What does a triangle call a circle?

Pointless.

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What do you call a crab that plays baseball?

A pinch hitter.

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What do you call a meditating wolf?

Aware wolf!

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What do you call a camel with no humps?

Humphrey.

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What do you call an egg laid by an evil chicken?

A deviled egg.

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What do you call the wife of a hippie?

A Mississippi!

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What do you call a pony with a cough?

A little horse!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No-eye-deer!

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What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay?

A bagel!

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What do you call a musical insect?

Humbug.

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What do you call a man who has already spent a lot of his time at the beach?

A tangent.

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What do you call it when the iron is blowing in the wind?

Febreeze.

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What do you call a man who used to love tractors?

An extractor fan.

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What do you call an aardvark that is three feet long?

A yardvark.

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What do you call a man with a toilet on his head?

John.

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